I just spend the last 4 years of my life fighting for a life. A healthy life, a good life. A life about living not just surviving. I’ve had an accident on January 7 2010 that changed my life. I was in awful pains in my neck and back for four years straight. I had no moment, not one second of relief, it was Always there. And that’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. A lot op people let me down and after 4 years of doctors and therapists and hospitals I finally found one person that could help me. My life changed again, for the better. It’s been a couple months but I already have days ( days! ) when I’m not in pain. And when I was so sick I used to think if only the pain would go, everything would be ok. But it’s not, I often feel like I’ve lost everything. And I know that’s not completely true. But right now I just feel so sad. I don’t feel in control at all, even though I’m not controlled by pain all the time. I’ve lost my teenage years, I was 15 and now I’m 20. I feel like I’ve woken up from the world’s worst joke. I just feel so sad right now. I just want peace.